Erika

I am almost starting to get the hang of this whole computer thing. Tomorrow is weigh in day, I feel like I may have lost something, but I’m not going to make myself crazy if I didn’t. Other than that, it’s an exciting Saturday night, up to my eyeballs in laundry. I love the fall, the only drawback is having to haul out all of the winter clothes, wash them, and pack away the summer ones. I have to admit though, it warms my heart to see all the footy jammies and holiday sweaters again.

Did anyone else get a message from this person calling themselves Elisabeth? I received a very strange message from this woman, claiming to be an African national of 23, asking me to help her secure her late father’s inheritance, ( who she claimes was poisoned by his former buisness partner ) and become her guardian. Basically all she needs is my bank account information, so she can deposit the money and is offering 10% . Did anybody catch Dr. Phil yesterday? It was all about these kind of scams. So what should I do now, I did report it.

So we went to this class today, mind numbing doesn’t even almost cover it. Don’t get me wrong, the lady was nice, but had the personality of a turnip. She spoke in a very monotone voice, kinda like Mr. Rodgers after a few drinks. Good news, my Mom’s sugar levels are now after 2 weeks of medication down to 137, they were at 395 when she was first diagnosed. I am painfully writing this, as every finger was stuck today with her new meter. She needed to pratice using it, and she’s a bit of a wimp, so I got to be the pin cushion.  My sugar level is 70, I lost a pint of blood today so she could figure that out, but it’s a good result none-the-less.

We went to Ground Round for lunch and I did really well, I ordered the fajiatas, had them hold the tortillas, and just ate the chicken and veggies. I was however getting more than a little annoyed looking at the picture of the fried cheesecake desserts planted on our table. I bet if when you eat that, if you’re really quiet, you can hear your arteries slamming shut.  

Thank you all for the messages yesderday, my mother and I are going to that class today. We had a long conversation in which I offered absolute support and help, but I will not take on the role of ” sugar police”. I think we got somewhere.

Happier note, come hell or high water, I am going to figure out this whole posting pictures thing this weekend. I sound so self assured don’t I? I’m lying, my kid brother is going to come over and help his old sis do it.

I weighed myself, and 2 of the 3lbs of water weight seems to be gone. I do however feel like a water buffalo, oh the joys of womanhood !!!

I have been fighting the urge to stress eat all week. My mother was just diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. She had blood work done after a 16 hour fast, her sugar level was 395. It was explained to me that 100 and under is normal, 100-120 is considered pre-diabetes, her’s was 395! I am so angry at her for not acting on the symptoms she has been feeling for almost a year. Had she mentioned it to me, I would have forced her to seek treatment much sooner.

 The worst part is that she is acting like she was diagnosed with a head cold. I don’t think it’s denial, she just doesn’t seem to be fazed by any of this. Her father died of related complications, we were the ones that prepared the insulin injections, forcibly removed the candy from the house, and shuttled him to appointments once he had lost most of his vision.

She has to go to an education class at the hospitial tomorrow, which I have insisted on going to. Because I don’t trust that she will relay the information accurately, she’s by no means incapable of doing so, I’m afraid she’ll choose to not tell me everything.

It’s such a weird feeling. On one hand all I want to do is eat, on the other, I see this as a HUGE RED FLAG for me, and am more determined to get the weight off. So instead I am smoking like a fiend. I know that’s just as bad, but if I try to diet and quit smoking at the same time my head will explode.

It doesn’t help that I am having an,  “I feel really fat day”. I actually caught myself glaring at my 8yr old yesterday while he was eating a piece of candy. Don’t worry, he didn’t see me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I was reading Nikki’s blog today, and it got me to thinking.

We all have the need to be supported, but I think ther is an even more powerful need within the human existance to be supportive. Never would I approach an over-weight woman in the grocery store and praise her food selections, it would be rude and probably taken wrong. However I can look into that same woman’s eyes and know what she’s going through, and feel compassion and empathy that again would be completely innappropriate to express.

Then there is this group, here is an opportunity to reach a hand back for someone else. I think we learn the most about ourselves when we are trying to relate to another’s struggles. We are forced to delve into that dark place to find that empathy, so we may be of help to another, and in that, gain insight into ourselves. We can be honest here, and ask for honesty from each other. It is a powerful resource. We walk through our lives and pass nameless faces everyday, and worry about whether or not they will judge us. What we have here is proof that those same people could just as easily support and relate to us.

It reaffirms my faith in humanity to read such joy in each other’s success, compassion of each other’s trials, and catch free encouragement when we see that a friend’s resolve is weakening.

I thank you all for finding humor in the common denominators of our lives and the graciousness of sharing your stories.

I know I’m being whiny, but I’m kinda bummed none the less. I knew I shouldn’t weigh myself this morning when I woke up with helacious cramps. I did anyway, and sure enough the scale read 3lbs higher. I know it’s just water, I turn into a camel during PMS, but it still is kind of defeating. I wanted potato chips so badly yesterday I was ready to pull my hair out, which by the way is back to normal. Purple hair, water weight gain, and PMS is way too much to handle all at once. I hate when I let some arbitrary number on the scale ruin my mood, but I guess it’s normal to feel that way.

I made such a find today, Sweet-n-Low makes these candies that only have 2 net carbs for 3 pieces. They are about the size of the little Peppermint Patties. I bought the coconut/almond and the chocolate cherry, and boy are they good. They come in those little bags that hang on hooks in the candy isle. If you’re low carbing it, and are dying for something sweet, these are perfect.

I was reading Angie’s blog about how her husband praises for how she handles being at home all day with the little ones. It got me to thinking….

We should start the Mom Olympics. We could have timed events like, fastest diaper changes, stain removal, nose wiping, meal preparation, and the ” MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS COMING OVER IN 10 MIN ” house cleaning contest.

We could have endurance challenges like, how much can you carry at once, how much Kleenex can you stuff up your sleeve, all night mom-a-thons because no one told us there’s a bake sale tomorrow, or a science project that due.

We could have mental challanges like, visualize where that special pair of shoes may be, commiting an entire grocery list to memory, remembering long division and the multiplication of fractions for homework, and trying to carry on an adult conversation without mentioning children, chores, or lack of sleep.

Then for the finale, we can all line up and reveal the ” How did this get in my purse? ” items we all have. For me, it’s a lint covered lollipop, 7 stale Cheerios, and an arm from a Spiderman action figure.

We all deserve a medal, a nap, and a break.

My husband is such a great guy. I woke up this morning, actually I drug myself out of bed and staggered to the coffee pot. To my suprise, there were a dozen long stem red roses in a vase next to my coffee mug. He left the sweetest note too. He bought them lastnight and snuck them into our garage fridge. He said he thought they would be a better surprise first thing in the morning. What a sweetheart!!