Erika

So the New Year is quickly approaching, and I find myself feeling a little melincholy this morning.

2007 will be a year of changes for me. As all of you know, my entire life revolves around my family and the children entrusted to me by our neighbors. It has been quite some time since I have had something of my very own, and in 2 weeks I will start singing in that choir I told you about.

It’s only one evening a week for a few hours but it will be my time to just be Erika, not someone’s wife, mother, daughter, sister, neighbor, caregiver, ect…while I am very excited, I am a little scared. I know that I will be one of the featured soloists, I’m not trying to sound egotistical, I just know that I will be. I used to sing for the director and he knows what I can do. I’m just not used to being in the limelight anymore, my job now is creating the oppertunities for other people to shine.

Logan will be starting school this year ( not until Sept ) and that will give me the chance to go back to school myself and finish my degree in psych/social work. That also is very exciting but scary.

 This will also be the year that I turn 35. There is just something about that number that excites me, I guess I see it as officially being a grown up, a woman.

I have decided to start squirrling away money to suprise my family with a little weekend vacation to Seven Springs this summer. It’s predominantly a ski resort, but in the summer they have the pool, a slamming game room, live bands at the outside bars, and the Alpine Slide. Which is kind of like a sled on a track that winds it’s way down the ski slopes. The kids love it there, and this year I want to ride the slide with them. The truth of the matter is that I could have riden it the last time we were there, but fear of looking silly kept me from doing so.

So my main goal this year Buddies is to be under 200lbs for the first time in my adult life. I really don’t care if that number is 199.999, but I need to see that happen before my birthday in the end of August. That means that I will need to lose a little under 8 lbs a month until then.

Finally I need to quit smoking. I now smoke a pack a day.( outside, we do not smoke near the kids) Not only is it important for my health, but the amount of money Ethan and I spend on cigarettes is staggering. He also smokes a pack a day, so between the 2 of us, that’s $10 a day…$300 a month…$3600 a year…that’s a car payment!  So perhaps I will be able to use that vacation as a motivation to quit, I’ve decided that I am going to give it a shot starting Feb 1st. If I put away all the money I would have spent smoking towards our vacation, by August I will have $1050, more than enough!

Here’s to a great New Year Buddies!  Oh, and if you thaink I cranky during carb withdrawl…just wait until Feb.

I have a very clear theory about toxic people…..cut them out of your lives. When I first had Jarod I took a real hard look around at the people in my life and used this litmus test…would I trust this person to be alone with my child? To my shock I realized that a great many of them did not pass that test, and that was the end of that.

While some people like co-workers or family members aren’t as easily removed, they can definately be kept at arms length. You have to allow someone to effect your mood, happiness, or success in your life. You have to allow them to get under your skin or to hurt you. I decided that any one who would willfully try to hurt me or sabatoge any endevor of mine, had to go.

Oh, we got the stupid sparklers. It took an act of God and Congress, but the got them. I am once again chained to the kitchen making food for tomorrow’s festivities and doing the prep work for New Year’s Day dinner. I’ll tell you this much…somebody else in my family had better learn to cook PDQ, or by this time next year everyone will be enjoying the traditional Jan 1st pizza!

You guys are going to love this…OK remember the sparklers I’m trying to get for New Years? Well, so I’m checking the store’s website and there is all this nonsense about needing a permit to enter the showroom. So I called to investigate…

Apparently it is illegal for a Pa resident to enter the store ( which is in Pa ) without a permit. So I have to download said permit and have it signed by an acceptable official. ( mayor, township supervisor, fire chief, ect…) Then if I can find one of these people to sign it, I have to fax it to their store so their lawyer can verify it, and then I can buy a sparkler. Then again, I may have missed the part where they need a DNA sample as well. For the record…this is the exact same permit I would need if I wanted to do my own full scale fireworks display on a freakin’ barge on the river.

Now, can someone please explain to me how it is possible to run a store in Pa, where anyone in the country can buy fireworks except the people who live here? I could buy an uzi or a pound of crack in downtown Pittsburgh with less aggravation.

My mother showed up yesterday with 3 bags of frozen pow-wow sandwiches for New Year’s. For those who don’t know, a pow-wow is kind of like a sloppy joe, but it’s made with bacon, dried beef, onion, cheese, and chili sauce on those little potato rolls. She also made a pasty, which is an old English dish. It’s pie crust filled with sliced potatoes, onions, and stew meat. Both of those are all time favorites for me, and I haven’t had either in years. I think she’s trying to kill me.

I know that I am never going to be able to resist those on New Year’s Eve, so I think I’ll keep low carbing this week, eat on Sunday and then back on for the New Year. I know this for sure, the leftovers will be leaving with the guests. God I can not wait for the holidays to be over.

Well I was right…I feel like crap! The protein thing kicks in fast, I weighed myself this morning and I am 1.5 lbs lighter. I know it’s all water weight as I must have peed 12 times lastnight. I know TMI but still, it’s true.

I am exhausted. I am a serious dreamer…like so vivid that it takes me a while to shake the emotions of them when I wake up. So lastnight I not only drempt that I was scuba diving with Sharon and Ozzy Ozbourne, but that I was arrested for a murder that I was being framed for. It was bizzare, I was arrested during a re-enactment of Wayne’s World that I was directing at Jarod’s school and taken to a police station where Vincent DiNofrio from Law & Order CI was interrogating me. I’m not making this stuff up, this is really what I was dreaming. So I am tired.

I realized lastnight that we are completely out of sparklers and little fireworks. I always buy extra over the 4th and save them for the kids on New Year’s Eve, I’m thinking they may have gotten thrown away by mistake. So Ethan and I are going to take a little road trip on Saturday, no one sells them around here this time of year, and the closest place to get them is about 90miles away. It may sound silly to go to all that trouble for sparklers, but the kids would be heart broken if come midnight we didn’t have any. There’s never been a New Year’s where we didn’t.

 The things we do for our kids…..

Well Buddies, I am not a happy camper. I finally weighed myself this morning. Remember those Thanksgiving pounds that I put on and then lost? Well they’re back! Suprise, Suprise! I am up 7 lbs, and I’m well….for lack of a better word…pissy.

So…I have decided that I will begrudgingly re-start my diet today, not on the 1st as I had planned. I have to be honest that I am not looking forward to the carb withdrawl over the next few days. I think I may just buckle down and rely on my protein shakes for the next two days. I also plan to be cranky and evil and short tempered.

I am however going to wait until the 1st to start exercising again. The first few days of low carb leave me feeling very tired and fatigued. After that, my system levels off and I have more energy. I will get some movement today, as my house looks like Toys-R-Us threw up in it. I will be up and down the stair approx 957 times today as I try to put the kids’ new toys away. Not to mention the laurdry that is threatening to stage an avalanch down those same stairs.

Of course I will be hosting the New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day festivities. I’m really not worried about it though on the eating front, because I plan to be drunk and hungover respectively.

You have to understand the relationship I have with my Father’s usual Christmas gifts to appreciate what I am about to say….

He is one who buys gifts for me which always leaves me mentally asking the question, ” Have we met ? “  I have been on the receiving end of more horrific sweaters than I can count. The white sweater with a lacey butterfly collar and horizontal stripes of mint green, baby blue, light pink and yellow. The hot pink track suit, and my personal favorite the electric blue one with yellow yarn knots all over it, and orange egyptian people walking along the bottom and cuffs. And who can forget the complete Jean Nate gift set a few years ago. I just looked at him, he said that he thought I wore that fragrance, my response was, ” Yeah, when I was 12 “

But this year Buddies, he turned the corner. He handed me an envelope and to my suprise and delight it contained 2 floor seats to see Rod Steward in concert. I damn near died. I love Rod Steward, and the seats are amazing. Center floor, 2nd row!

The concert is Feb 17th, so you see I must lose at least 50lbs by then so Rod and I can run off together, I hope Ethan won’t be too angry. I hope you all got what you wanted, I know I did.

The kids were thrilled with all that Santa had left them, as was everyone else. We had a great time! Be well Buddies, 6 days until the New Year. Which I have decided will be the year of the BuddySlimmers.

Let me preface what I am about to say with the following disclaimer:

What you are about to read is totally out of character for my husband, but never-the-ness, I may have to kill him.

Lastnight at about 10pm, I was finally finished cooking and completely exhausted. So I turn to my normally responsible husband and tell him that I am ready to go to sleep. He comments that it’s only 10 o’clock on a Saturday night, and how boring we are. Perhaps if he had been cooking for 8 straight hours, he would have felt differently about that, but I digress…Just then, there’s a knock at our door.

It’s our good friend and neighbor, with his 2 college age sons who are on their way to the bar around the corner, and wanted to know if we would like to tag along. I am going nowhere except to bed, Ethan said that he couldn’t go either. So like an ass, I tell Ethan to go and have a good time, practically forcing him to go out, because he never does. They all swear they will be back by midnight.

3:30am rolls around and I awake to a horrendous thud coming from outside the bedroom door. Yup, it’s my husband, literally fall down drunk, who had just done a face plant in the hallway. He fell down again while trying to get his jeans off, and then ran to the bathroom to vomit. Which he did off and on for the next hour. 

Before you call child protective services, the kids were with my Mother. Now you see, my husband is not a drinker. If he has more than 3 beers in an evening it’s a rare occasion, and usually he is hung over from that. So what would possess him to try and do shots with and keep up with 2 college kids is completely beyond me.

So this Christmas Eve day, he will be totally useless. We are expecting my entire family at 1pm, and I will be amazed if he is able to walk by then. So you see I have no choice but to kill him.

          Merry Christmas from your newly widowed friend,

                                    Erika

Guess who showed up to dinner lastnight….tom! It’s about damn time. Anyway, lastnight was great. Well the evening was great…the food choices kinda sucked. I had seafood alfredo and 2 candy cane martinis. I will also be taking my happy self to the liquor store today to get the ingredients for said martinis, very very good! The only bad part was when I had to yell at Mr Snooty Poot waiter.

The mixed green salad I ordered came with walnuts, I didn’t know that until I heard my father asking questions about it. Jarod is highly allergic to tree nuts, so even having them at the table could have posed a problem. He could have very easily picked up the fork I was using by mistake, or just taken a bite of my salad. He knows to ask when it comes to baked goods and such, but he would never assume that there were walnuts in the salad.

Anyway, I questioned Mr. Waiter Guy about the walnuts, and he totally copped an attitude with me. ‘ We could omit the walnuts madam, if they would be an issue for you ‘ dripping with distain and sarcasm. So what did I say…..I said, ” Shhhh, can you hear that? That’s the sound of your tip going back into my purse.” His jaw dropped. Then I said, ” I am very sorry to inconvience you sir with my petty walnut inquirey, however I thought it would be much less of an imposition than the ambulance that will need to be called once my son goes into shock from the walnuts.” He apologized, and brought Jarod’s next Shirley Temple with an extra cherry.

Today I will be, yet again, shackled to the kitchen. Everyone will be here for Christmas Eve, and they have requested a rolling buffet of munchies, followed by the big ham dinner Christmas Day. So I am off to mold a hunk of cheese into a ball, turn a mild mannered piece of liver into pate, and create a plethora of substances suitable for dipping or spreading. I will also making pizza dough ( I hate doing that with a passion ) because in addition to everything else, they want my homemade ranch pizza.

All I’m saying Buddies is that there had damn well better be some good presents under the tree for me, and none of them…and I mean none of them, had better be in any way related to food preperation.

Twas three days before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The Mommy was gleeful, cause no one was there

She’ll spend the day resting, and coloring her hair.

The house is now clean, it will be so all day,

 Nana came for the children and took them away.

Hubby’s toiling at work, he’ll be there til six,

Then he’ll treat Mom to a dinner she won’t have to fix.

Out for the evening, to a resturant they’ll go

With her parents and brothers and children in tow.

The dinner’s to thank her for all that she’s done,

making Christmas so special for everyone.

She’ll wear eyeliner and real clothes, that are no longer to tight.

And she won’t have to clean up, it will be a good night. 

Hello all…. I am still cleaning.

Jarod’s Christmas Concert is today at school. Better wear the waterproof mascara and bring the tissues. He looked so handsome this morning in his new holiday outfit. He also had his Cub Scouts Christmas party yesterday and the gingerbread house was a big hit. He came running in the door lastnight and gave me a huge hug, and told me that everybody loved it, and how special he felt because everybody knew it was from him.

I can’t wait for all the kids to get home from school today, I have a suprise for them. I found a Christmas pinata, it’s a big stocking, and filled it with candy and small toys. I also bought a bottle of sparkling cider and fancy red plastic wine glasses. So when they get home we can celebrate their holiday vacation.

After dinner lastnight I made the kids and Ethan hot chocolate with extra marshmallows in travel cups, and we walked around the neighborhood to look at everyone’s lights. The best part was that there is a party store about 5 miles away that has revolving flood lights up around their live Christmas trees for sale. You can just see the beam of light circling above from my house.

 Logan looked up and saw it and flipped out. He was screaming, ” Santa’s Sleigh, look Santa’s sleigh ! “  Jarod saw it and flipped out as well, they decided ( with a little suggestion from me ) that Santa was out on a test drive, plotting out his route.

 I am about to finish my Christmas duties right now. The only thing I have left to do is call the bakery and order one of those cookies the size of a pizza. Every year I get one with ” Thank you for the cookies  Jarod and Logan, Love Santa ” iced on it and leave it on the plate the kids put Santa’s cookies on.

Dust I must, later Buddies!