Could use some advise
Good morning Buddies, I am happy to report that Jarod is doing much better. I am also starting to feel human again.
rn
I could really use some advise here, I have mentioned before some of the problems I’ve been having with one of the families I babysit for. When I started watching these kids, it was for about 7 to 8 hours a day. Because of a job change on the mother’s part, that became anywhere from 10 to 12 hours a day.
rn
There was no discussion of changing my pay, I have only been charging her $30 a day for 2 children. I have the 2 yr old all day, and the older one before and after school. Keep in mind that at least 2 days a week both kids eat breakfast and dinner here. I do all of this without asking for more money due to the friendship I have with their mother. Well, that’s all changing.
rn
Since the new year, her pay changed from every other week to the 1st and 15th of the month. Not that big of a deal, except that I have had to chase her down over the last 3 paydays, to get paid myself, the last one being 4 days late, because she didn’t have time to go to the bank.
rn
Monday, when she called to tell me that she would be an hour late, I told her about Jarod having pnuemonia. Her was reaction was what I would have expected if I had told her he stubbed his toe. When she finally got here to collect her children, she walked past Jarod laying on the couch coughing his head off, and then only on the way out the door did she ask how he was feeling.
rn
Because of the snow here, she has had the last two days off work, so I haven’t had her kids. I am honestly shocked that in those two days she hasn’t called to see if Jarod was alright.
rn
I treat her kids like family, what my kids get, they get. When I do the grocery shopping I always make sure that their favorites are here, and allow them to choose dinner one night a week. Did I mention that she kicks in $20 a month for groceries? That $20 doesn’t really even cover what her kids eat here in a week.
rn
So what do you all think I should do here? I’m so tired of waking up angry every morning that the kids come here. I love their kids, it’s not them I’m angry at, it the parents. I would really like your honest opinions here, because I’m about ready to snap.
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First off I hope Jarod is doing better today!
Erika………I think it is time to sit down with her and set some new rules! She is taking advantage of your good nature and big heart♥! We all know how far $20.00 goes in the grocery store. More hours same pay, she wouldn’t do it and neither should you!
Hope you had a wonderful Valentines Day!
Keep warm and have a nice day!
Often times good people get taken advantage of. You should explain all of this to her, however, I am sure that she wont take it well and will probably think she is right but you have to do what you have to do for yourself. If she is a good person she will come around but most people are so self centered. Good luck on this one girl
I’m glad your little one is feeling better!
When my daughter worked at a daycare they charged a set amount for set hours, and if someone was late it was $10.00 an hour starting at the time the parent was supposed to pick the child up. You have a business relationship, and the rules need updated since the original deal changed. Hope Jarod is feeling better.
Hey there, You know what, she doesn’t know how good she has it. I pay $40.00 a day for my child and he’s only there 7 hours. I think you should tell her how you’re feeling, letting the feeling grow inside you just will make it worse. Let her know you love the kids but the cost of living has gone up and you’ll need to rasie her fee. Also you could ask for a set payday because your bills need to get paid too. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask since you are giving such great care to her children. I hope it works out for you>>>Katie
Hey there, You know what, she doesn’t know how good she has it. I pay $40.00 a day for my child and he’s only there 7 hours. I think you should tell her how you’re feeling, letting the feeling grow inside you just will make it worse. Let her know you love the kids but the cost of living has gone up and you’ll need to rasie her fee. Also you could ask for a set payday because your bills need to get paid too. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask since you are giving such great care to her children. I hope it works out for you>>>Katie
hey i would just type a letter up saying on such date that your fee is going to increse to and give it to her make sure you keep a copy thought that way she cant say she did not know that your rates have incresed
Whether you like her children or not, business is business. Daycares care about children and show them love and affection. But, business is business and they are gonna charge you for being late and missing days and so forth. And they are not going to call you to see how little Johnny is. Business is business. Write up a new contract only if you can afford the chance that she might pull her kids out. Remember, she probably sees you more like an employee than a caring friend person she pays to watch her kids.
i had a problem just like that. i kept calling and asking the mom for the money. i was a single mother then and had no income @ all. i finally got mad cause this girl was coming over even when she wasn’t suppose too. so i finally called her dad. i got money, but no where what i thought i should get. they haven’t asked me again. it might sound mean, but, you gotta do what you gotta do. if it makes her mad, she’s not your true friend. she should keep her end of the bargin. it’s only right to pay more if you keep them longer. my sister was charging me out my butt for my 2 and she didn’t even keep them but 2-4 hrs, if that. i had to stop that, cause i was going broke paying my sister.
I think you need to realize that she doesn’t treat you as family, you are someone she hires.
I think its great you realize not to take it out on the kids. Its not their fault, and they don’t even need to know.
I think you should decide that you need to do an upgrade on your fees, and while you are doing it, you decided to write down the rules. So do it more as a ‘I haven’t done this in a while but after looking at my bills I realize I need to do a price raise’. Inflation hits everyone, so you could word it in a way so she doesn’t get hostil and think you are after her.
And you should include extra costs in your new price list, like how much you’ll charge when they are late, etc. And, talk to your local daycare, so if she balks at it, you can say, ‘yah, I decided that I wasn’t going to do the typical daycare charge you a dollar a minute, I’m going to be nice and just charge $5 if you’re over’. Or something like that.
You are giving an incredible bargain. Remember that. Your services are worth way more than you think they are. You can find other kids to watch way easier than she can find another place for her kids.
She is using you!To walk past your child and not say ” hey baby how do you feel?I hope you feel better!
That is rotten!
Also the going rate here is $50.00/$70.00 a child. Some people charge that a day.Also the parents are to bring food for the children or give up more money!I think you need to up your rate!Also if you have been friends .I would say that it bothered me that you never asked my son how he is doing!You now deep down if this woman is taking advantage of you.Tell her you need the money on a set day of the week.Good luck with it. Tell your little boy I said”hope he feels better”
Erika, as you’ve advised me before, give her the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know if you consider her more a friend than a business employer and how you deal with it does depend on that. If you’re friends, I can’t imagine not doing it casually one day over a cup of coffee while the kids play together that you have a problem and here it is…..you feel taken advantage of. If she’s a business employer, then it needs to be completely cold. You’re upping the price, charging her for late fees and you’ve drawn up a contract to that affect (let me know if you need some research on contracts…..). I’m getting the sense it’s a mix of both and if so, give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her. She needs to pay more because you’re GIVING more!!! Worse case scenario, she pulls her kids but it sounds like this would be better than the way things are. Please remember that life is too short to be irrate or unhappy over something you have control over. Change this!! You have the power to.
I’d sit her down and have a talk with her. You consider this woman to be your friend. If she feels the same way, she’ll understand and agree that she needs to pay a bit more and be a bit more considerate. If she doesn’t, then the feeling of friendship is apparently just one-sided and your relationship is strictly business.
If that’s the case, treat it as such. Lay it all out for her. Have an agreement typed up ahead of time for her to sign and if she refuses to sign and accept the changes or doesn’t stick to the agreement, tell her you can’t take care of her children any more. She’ll soon see how well she had it with you and how wrong she is!
That woman has taken advantage of you for way to long, and I can’t believe you’ve put up with it for this long. Loving the kids is one thing, but this business. I would tell her everything that you have to say. I wouldn’t be nasty, because that won’t get you anywhere, but I would tell her absolutely everything. If she is a friend, you should be able to tell her anything. I hope Jarod is feeling better, poor little guy. Give him a hug and kiss for me.
Erika,
I think you really need to sit her down and have a talk.. Express these concerns to her.. Don’t keep it inside you and let it fester and boil because that isn’t good for you and her or any of the kids.. I think if you express to her how you are feeling that she will realize that she is taking advantage of you and probably offer a compromise… I hope this works out for you and I think you are a wonderful person for doing that for $30 a week! Wow!!
Erika,
My suggestion is to talk to her and tell her your concerns about the financial side of things, and the family/friendship side of things - do mention how her reaction to your son’s health affected you. However, I am sorry to say that she does not sound like a friend anymore. I am obviously not familiar with the relationship you have with this person, but I do know that you have mentioned several things she has done over the past few months that have gotten a “huh?” from me…I am sure you were talking about the same person. Also, there is a HUGE difference between 7-8 hours as opposed to something close to 12. I wonder if the question of payment ever came up at all when that change came about? Depending on her reaction, and her body language - I would react accordingly, but a contract should be drawn up whether she truly feels sorry or comes off as cold-hearted. Nowadays, it’s just not a risk you want to take. You need to realize that your services are worth a lot more, and you need to stop her from taking you for granted.
It’s time to re-evaluate your situation! You are running a business. Friendship shouldn’t come into play here. If your friend was using someone else, someone she doesn’t know, she wouldn’t be acting the way she is acting with you. If she is going to continue using your services she needs to know what you expect from her. Sit her down and go over the terms, let her know what you are giving her children for the money she is paying you. She needs to know what blessings she’s been given. You need some respect…. Demand it……
First let me say how glad I am that your son is feeling better and that you are starting to feel human yourself, you’ve been in my thoughts and prayers this last week
I agree with what others have posted her type up a letter to her letting her know that starting March 1st your rates have changed …I advise you to charge a late fee when she pick her kids up late I do that I give the mothers a warning the first time they are late and don’t call after that I charge $15 for every hour they don’t come get the kids ….if they want me to watch the kids later then they know they need to pay extra for that since I to have a life and a child of my own to take care of …. I think I still have the form letter I gave all the parents when I first started watching their kids, I could send that to you if you want …In babysitting she is a client not a friend and she needs to recongnize that and respect your time.
Hello sweetie. I have missed you terribly. I had kept you in my mind all this time. I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I had a similar problem once upon a time. I told the lady I could not take care of kids. I of course blamed my husband. I know you are attached to the kids but sometimes we have to let them go. If things are really hard for you, then it is not worth your time and efford. Think about it. I am sure she will not find a better sitter than you but if you are having problems with her, it is not worth your time. Take care
Rosa