Respect, for self and otherwise
After reading so many blogs today by women who are feeling poorly about themselves, be it self imposed or thrust apon them by others, I felt compelled to write about it.
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How is it that we: the mothers, wives, and caretakers of family and friends, can be so compassionate and giving to everyone else but ourselves?
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When did we decide that our happiness and sense of self worth was dependant on someone else’s mood?
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When did we become accepting that every extra inch on our waistline was directly related to the ammount of disrespect we will tollerate?
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Who came up with the idea that we are only allowed to feel beautiful and worthy of love after the weight ticker shows some arbitrary number, and not a moment before?
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And who the hell is responsible for convincing over 50% of the population that the approval of a man trumps one own inner voice?
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I for one am tired of it!
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I am tired of seeing beautiful, vibrant, incredible women accept less than the very best from the ones they love and the ones who love them.
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I am tired of seeing those same women feel like they have to hide from society and pretend they don’t exist.
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So to all of those Buddies out there who are ashamed of who they are, and have bought into the self defeating thinking you have been programmed with….STOP IT!
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Stop doing this to yourself, stop agreeing with the people who hurt you by believing and internalizing their nonsense.
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It’s possible to love and be proud of yourself right now, and still want to be better.
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You are not crazy, overly emotional, nor are you defective.
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You are wonderful, and graceful, and appreciated.
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YOU GO GIRL!!!
I noticed that today too…Lots of people kind of feeling blah today…
You know what else I find amazing, is that if you ask the guys…The good ones…Their view of us women is much much different then our own skewed image…Truly…
I have a lot of good guys in my life…A wonderful spouse, a tremondous friend, wonderful brother in laws, etc…And most of them are with women who carry an extra inch or so…They honestly dont care…
You hit the nail on the head though…No matter what weight we get to, or are at, unless you change your thinking to I AM BEAUTIFUL ANY SIZE and darn it, I AM WORTH IT…It doesnt matter…
Wont matter if you are 300 pounds or 110, really…You gotta learn to love yourself and stand up for yourself and your right to be who wanna be!!
Great blog!
Dawn
Yes, Yes & Yes.
—Valerie
Nice blog Erika. You are absolutely right.
What a great blog Erika and how true.
Thanks for the reminders
~~Lori
Very well put, Erika, and thank you. And just in case somebody still thinks that losing weight is enough to make you happy and is going to take all the problems away - OMG, there are so many ‘lost the weight but still miserable’ people out there! We want to come out of this pricess stronger, not embittered. Sure, losing the weight has something to so with self esteem, and the sad truth is that if don’t get love or kindness, you cannot demand it… It doesn’t work that way… I think the essence of the problem is that you may think (I did a while ago in the past as well) that once you loose the weight, you can love yourself.
Dash it, no, it’s the other way around! Once you start loving yourself are you only strong enough to loose the weight or do whatever you need to do to improve your life. Even if the whole world loves you, if you don’t, nothing can help. Anyway, sorry about the sermon, I got overexcited
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Well said Erika, I have to do some of these things for myself as I am becoming more and more aware of who I am. I am not just a Mom, wife, daughter, friend, sister and so on. I have to start appreciating me now. Great blog!!
Words to live by. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Amen sister Erika! I agree with you wholeheartedly. Your value does not come from your weight, the way you look, the color of your skin, whether you’re driving the BMW or whatever other ideas are in people’s head. It’s like happiness. Joy, peace, self-worth, self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-love are all internal and as such, are with you everyday, every second, every minute of the day. If any person thinks losing that weight or getting that surgery will give you the magic ticket, I feel sorry for that person because each passing day is wasted. Love yourself today and right now. Make your goal to love yourself more than anyone else and I GUARANTEE those around you will feel the same. *Okay stepping down from the soapbox now *
Erika………You are an amazing person! I love your blog! You inspire me beyond words. I am so glad we are buddies, better yet glad we are friends.
Have an awesome night!
I REALLY needed to read this today- thanks for the words of inspiration!!
Yes yes yes!!! I soo needed to hear tht this morning!! Thank you Erika!!