Erika

Hello all, I just wanted to explain what will more than likely be an absence from BuddySlim for the next few days. Hopefully I will be able to check in here and there.

Jarod’s good friend who comes from an extremely disadvantaged family moved cross country 6 weeks ago after his grandmother was critically injured in a very bad accident.

The whole family packed what they could take on a Greyhound, sold off what they were able to and gave away the rest of their possessions, believing that they would have a permanent home there.

While the Grandmother seems to be recovering, their trip out west was an unmitigated disaster, and they were forced to come back to PA. Hoping to be able to move back into their former apartment…no dice.

To make matters worse every cent the had was stolen when someone at the bus terminal made off with the diaper bag that was carring their wallets.

Long story short….they showed up at my doorstep with nowhere to go. They have 3 children, 14, 9, and 8mos. None of whom had been able to bathe in 3 days and they were running out of food and options.

We now have a house full. Thank God I have a large sectional couch, air mattresses, and a playpen. They are expecting their public aid cards to be re-issued within a week and are trying to get new IDs.

Things are quite hectic here with 5 more people in the house.  I thought I had alot of laundry to do before, cooking for 9 is no easy trick either.

Ethan, God love him, called me upstairs after they had finished telling us what had happened, hugged me, and simply said, ” We’ll make room.” Obviously neither one of us would be able to sleep much less look ourselves in the mirror had we turned them away.

They are not a traditional couple…lesbian, inter-racial and the adoptive parents to 2 of their children born to the one woman’s drug addicted sister. They are good people who unfortunately have found that other’s bigotry makes it very hard to find friends in a small town.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, before the move they had just gotten their heads above water after losing everything in an apartment fire.

So I will have my hands full for a while, but I will check in when I can. I hope you are all well, and if you think of it please say a prayer for their family. 

Is it possible to get a sunburn and frostbite in the same weekend? I think I may have done just that.

We spent the entire weekend at my Mother’s house. ( No computer, I’ve missed you all ) The pool is great, cold but great.

Monday my whole family gathered there, which was weird for me as they normally all invade my house. Of course I still did all the cooking, but it was weird none-the-less.

My brother brought his girlfriend…to put it nicely I have issues with this little girl. Not only does she barely speak to any women in the room, but it seems that she is incapable of speaking to anyone who owns a penis without flirting.

You know that cutesy-flirtsy, hair twirling, eyelash batting, dangling her shoe off her toe while kicking her leg up and down as she sits, giggle at every sentence said by a man,  kind of deal. I mean every male in the house…my father, Ethan, she even does it with Jarod and Logan.

She refuses to eat or drink anything, SHE DRIVES ME NUTS!

I swear if she would have said the words “like” or “you know what I mean?” one more time I would have been forced to drag her outside by her over highlighted hair and drown her.

I guess I should be grateful she didn’t come prepared to swim. She probably would have worn a bathing suit made of string and pasties.

After an hour I was seriously contemplating putting a fork in my eye.

I just do not understand what my brother sees in her, our other brother feels the same way as I do. I was nice….overly nice, out of respect for my brother, but the girl is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

As they pulled away, she was crying. My brother made a reference to her having her period after she berated him for taking too long in the bathroom.

I’m sure I will have to endure a 3 hour phone call from him later to discuss her feelings.

I hope you all are well, I have to put the kids on the bus and then I will be back to catch up on your blogs.

WARNING:  The following material may not be suitable for our male Buddies.

TOM has finally arrived. Ethan is not thrilled and Logan may very well be scarred for life.

To fully appreciate what I am about to recall, you need to understand that my boys have toilet issues. Meaning that they have yet to grasp the concept that you can not flush an entire roll of toilet paper in one shot. ( If they flush at all ) Clogging is a recurring problem around here.

After using the bathroom yesterday morning, it wouldn’t flush. So I went in search of the plunger, which Ethan had taken to the basement to bleach.

Within seconds Logan, who had gone into the bathroom, starts screaming that we need to call 911, because clearly someone was bleeding to death. Actually he thought it was his brother, who we had just put on the bus. He wanted me to call the school to warn them.

Explaining the concept of a period to a five year old boy is no easy trick. After about a half an hour I managed to convince him that I ws not dying, it was perfectly normal, and no…it would never happen to him.

Hours had gone by without him mentioning it again, so I thought the discussion was over, until…..

We were at Rite-Aid and Logan ever so innocently asked the lady behind the counter, ” Are your lady parts bleeding today like my Mommy’s are? Her’s bleed a lot, do yours? “

Obviously this woman is a mother, because she didn’t miss a beat. She answered, ” Not today honey, but they will next week. ” Logan gasped, and with eyes wide as saucers he said, ” You mean you ladies even know when it’s going to happen? “

Another woman, with etears in her eyes from laughing, chimmed in, “Hopefully!”

Did I mention that there were four woman and one man in line behind us? The women were laughing hysterically and the the poor man looked as if he would have given anything to be able to crawl into the jug a laundry detergent he was holding.

On the way home we had yet another talk. I told him that while it is natural, it is not polite to discuss it in front of strangers, and that he is never to ask another woman about her “lady parts’ again….he concurred.

Finally I thought this event was behind us, until….you guessed it, dinner. Ethan made the mistake of asking Jarod what he had learned in school today.

Once he was finished listing off all the liquid measurements from gallons to teaspoons, Logan let loose.

Logan informed Jarod and Ethan that he learned something today too.

 He learned that the “room” in a woman’s body for a baby will bleed if there isn’t a baby in it. That it’s ok, and Mommy uses a special Band-Aid called a tampon.

He also told Ethan that we should put a new baby in there so I won’t have to bleed. Which finally led to the million dollar question of the evening…..

” How do those babies get in there anyway? “

I finally gave in, and  I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.

Ethan and now my Mother ( yes, I may have to kill him ) both disagree with the results and have decided that I took the test too early for an accurate result.

Ethan’s baby fever is obviously contagious, because he has now gotten Mom all ramped up about the idea as well. She too was checking my fingernails lastnight She was kind enough to remind me that I am not getting any younger, and should probably get on the stick if I want another baby…preferably a girl.

She said this like she was ordering a burger at a drive-thru. They both are driving me crazy!

It’s not that I don’t want another baby, I do..but they just don’t seem to get that it isn’t going to happen this month. I really do want another child, I would just prefer to not be the one who gets pregnant this time……stupid laws of nature!

For those of you who remember, they canceled my deposition that was supposed to happen today. Some legal manuvering that I don’t quite understand, but I trust my attorney, and he felt it best to wait until the other side “answers” the complaint properly.

I’m kind of conflicted about that. On one hand I am relieved, as I really was dreading that moment, on the other hand…I just wanted to get it over with.

So that is where I am today, my diet has been awful the last few days. Stress? Disappointment? I don’t know, I have been walking a lot, so hopefully it will balance out. Today is a new day.

Good morning Buddies, I hope you all had an enjoyable weekend.

Mine was spent at my mother’s house trying to repair the damage done to her yard after having the pool installed. It truly looks like she has been testing land mines out there.

The pool is wonderful and a lot bigger than any of us expected, but they had to dig up half the yard to get it in, not to mention the enormous tire tracks that started in front and went the whole way along the property.

The only part of her yard that wasn’t hit by the plows needed to have a trench dug in it on Sunday so the electricians could run the wires for the filter.

Weather permitting the pool will be swimable by next weekend.

Of course we got hit with a ton of rain Friday and Saturday so the dig site became a swamp. Never in my entire life, have I been so covered in mud and muck.

The work was made even more diffucult by the fact that Friday afternoon I broke my right index finger.

I swear the contractors that installed the windows in my house ( before we owned it ) were drunk. Three of the windows open from the top, which I always forget about. Anyway, I was trying to chase a bee out of the bedroom and opened one of those windows.

I saw it start to quickly slide down and like an idiot tried to catch it.  My finger got caught between the two windows and snap!

It’s a lovely combonation of black, purple, and green and hurts like hell. I guess it could be worse, in High School I broke my middle finger. Because of the splint I had to walk around flipping everyone off for a couple of weeks. 

Actually, that was kind of fun.

I haven’t yet bought a pregnancy test, it’s still too early to get an accurate reading. It was fun though watching Ethan’s face ever time I lifted a bag of stone or mulch at my mother’s.

He kept giving me ‘the look’ and I just kept on rolling my eyes.

OK, I do not care what Ethan says…I am not pregnant! 

I have been feeling really run down, kind of sick to my stomach, and really bloated all week. All of which are symptoms of PMS, but I have also had wicked heartburn… I only get that when I am preggers.

However, that doesn’t start until the second trimester.

He is driving me crazy, he is convinced that I am. I know that I’m not. If by some chance that I was, and the heartburn is starting already, and that was a sign of what’s to come, I would have no choice but to fling myself off the nearest high building.

He also keeps checking my fingernails. The only time I have ever had long nails ( without the aid of a manicurist and super glue ) was when I was pregnant. We have pictures of my hands when the boys were new borns and I have daggers for nails…they all broke off about a month later.

They don’t look like they are really growing to me.

I think he has a bad case of baby fever, and he is driving me nuts with the constant questions. How do you feel? Do you feel any different? Should you be using those cleaning fluids? What if you are? Do your boobs hurt? ( I think that one is a little personal )

Did I mention that I am not even late?

I wonder if he would be so hopped up on this if he was the one who had to carry the baby. Who am I kidding? He gets a splinter and acts like his whole hand is going to fall off.

So that’s my week so far… Ethan pacing, observing, and questioning. I never thought I would be looking forward to a period.

Thank you all for your support yesterday, I really needed it.

I will rise above.

The sky this morning is dark and looming with storm clouds so we had to skip our walk to school and the kids had to take the bus. It was pouring yesterday morning as well.

So as we are walking to the bus stop, we pass the house of the woman I used to babysit for. ( Remember her and her drama? )

Well apparently she is not done with her demonstrations of just how petty and ignorant one person can be. Thrown on her front porch, was the fiber optic 4ft Christmas tree I bought her kids for their room this past Christmas. Needless to say, it wasn’t cheap.

You have to know her to appreciate what a pack rat she is, and the amount of stuff piled up in her home. So I find it very hard to believe that she suddenly decided to re-arrange the Christmas decorations on a Wednesday night. It wasn’t there yesterday morning, so she had to have done it lastnight.

Had it just been broken, she would have bagged it up and put it on the curb.

She threw it on the front porch for the sole purpose of pissing me off. It’s sad too because her oldest son loved that tree, picked it out himself and was so very excited to have it.

My kids saw it too, and Jarod just kind of sighed and told me he knew she did it just to hurt my feelings.

I’m not hurt… I’m angry. She doesn’t have the power to hurt me. I am curious though about how many other things I had given the kids over the last few years that she’s pitched as well. Ethan said that she is clearly trying to erase my existance from the lives of her chikdren.

I’m just not sure how much more of this I can take without snapping a band…..or snapping her neck. I am really trying to be the bigger person here, but it’s getting harder and harder.

The bathroom is done!

While I have seen so many of our Buddy Mom’s had a nice relaxing Mother’s Day, Ethan the slave driver, had me doing hard labor.

It took almost 2 hours on our hands and knees to rip up the old bathroom floor. Between the scraping and pulling and lifting every part of my body aches.

 I could barely walk to the computer this morning, just the thought of getting on that Nazi treadmill makes my hair hurt….but I will give it a shot.

I also feel quite hungover today, not from alcohol but from food. The ” Let’s Feed Mom Extravaganza ” started with dinner at my favorite Italian place Saturday night and ended with Jioio’s pizza lastnight. Anyone from this area will recognize that name as the best pizza ever.

My entire family took me to dinner Saturday, and I had every intention of trying to be good, until my father ordered me a Cookies and Cream martini ( Vanilla Stolis, Godive Chocolate liquor, and cream topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings ) it was all down hill from there.

Most of my Mother’s Day gifts were towel/bathmat related, which I loved. I must say that my favorite gift came from Jarod.

At school he made me a flower pot with paper flowers, each with an adjective describing me in the middle, and he wrote an essay about me.

According to the flowers, I am funny, cool, safe, stylish, playful, and decorative ( I am assuming he is referring to the decorating I do for their birthday parties )

According to the essay, not only am I the Greatest Mother in the Galaxy, but I make him feel safe, do fun things, make the best food, love him a lot, wear nice clothes, have pretty brown eyes, and ” have pretty red hair with black and grey underneath ” (perhaps I should have colored my roots on the day he was observing me for his essay)

The bathroom looks great, it just needs a good cleaning and a once over with Goo-Gone to remove the extra floor adhesive.

I hope you all had as great a Mother’s Day as I did, minus the hard labor.

This is the Greatest Mother in the Galaxy signing off.

Good morning and Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms!

I also wanted to take a moment and wish one of our dearest Buddies a Happy 35th Birthday!

Dawnie, you are such an important part of BuddySlim. Your blogs be they funny, thought provoking, motivating, or inspiring ( and sometime all four at once ) play a huge part in all of our successes.

Your comments are always so compassionate and supportive, and brighten my day everytime I read them. You are quick to share your own experiences of victories and failures, reminding us that we are not alone on this journey.

I could not imagine a BuddySlim without you, although I’ve kind of had to, being you have had the nerve to spend most of this week celebrating.  You deserve it!

For all of this I thank you. I thank you for your friendship and light, and I hope that you are having a wonderful birthday.

We love you Dawnie.

The kids and I have been walking to school all week, we stop for donuts and milk on the way, (them not me) and have a nice walk through town.

This morning as we are standing outside the school waiting for it to be time to go in, I was just hanging back while the kids talked to their friends.

Out of nowhere, this 6th grader, who looked like he had been left back a time or so, with a couple of his friends, jumps in Jarod’s face. He starts questioning why he is standing there with the walkers, telling him that he belongs on the bus, and threatening him that he will get him in trouble with the principal.

Jarod basically told him to get lost, and was holding his own until this shit stepped towards him yelling, “Listen you little dickhead, you don’t want to make me…” At which point I stepped in between the 2 of them, got right in his face and said, “ He doesn’t want to make you what? Just what exactly do you think you’re going to do? “

This kid actually tried to convinnce me that the principal said Jarod was not allowed to walk to school, and was not allowed to stand outside. I informed him that I was Jarod’s mother and that I am the one who decides where Jarod can and can not go, and if he really wanted to persue this we could all go marching into the principal’s office and get this straightened out.

He declined.

I went on to inform him and his friends that they had better stay away from my kid in the future, if not, I would make sure that I was there bright and early next time so I could see their mothers when they get dropped off.

The ringleader swallowed hard, and asked me if I meant to talk to their mothers or fight them. I said it was entirely up to him and cracked my knuckles. He almost fainted.  

Jarod and the other kids that were with us almost wet themselves they were laughing so hard. One other little girl said that those boys pick on everyone. Maybe I should go and smack their mothers. We can have a little showdown at the flag pole.

What is wrong with these kids? I would kill Jarod and Logan if they ever acted like that. Shortly after, it was time for them to go in. Jarod hugged me and thanked me for “having his back”.