Does being angry burn more calories?
Let me just say this….If the scale isn’t broken, someone may get hurt!
It has been 12…count them 12 days of faithful, committed, absolute, (obsessive even) low carb eating, and according to my piece of crap scale I have gained 3 lbs.
In all of my history of dieting, I am usually guarenteed a 5-8 lbs loss within the first 2 weeks. What the hell happened? It’s like my internal clock said, ” Ha Ha, You’ll be 35 in a matter of weeks Whammo! No weight loss for you! ” ( insert Soup Nazi voice here )
At first I told myself maybe it’s water retention, but then it occured to me that the only way for me to be retaining enough water to negate a loss and add 3 lbs would be if someone snuck up on me in the middle of the night and attached 2 gallon water jugs to my ass without me noticing.
I am so cheesed off…you know scratch that, I can have cheese-no carbs, I’m potatoed off!
Had I known that I was going to gain 3 lbs I would have eaten the damned macaroni salad at the BBQ yesterday instead of coveting it. Iwould have eaten the Doritos, or at the very least licked a few. Let’s not even talk about the brownies and cookies and pies. Apparently I can gain weight through osmosis now.
Come to the freak show and watch the woman who can mysteriously absorb the calories of food by just looking at it!
I even choked down one of those awful protein shakes yesterday morning because I didn’t have time to cook myself anything. You know those shakes, the ones that taste like rotten cardboard dipped in foot?
Why am I drinking vanilla flavored “footy cardboard” if I’m only going to gain 3 lbs.
To top that off, do you know what I will be doing today? You don’t, well thank you for asking.
I will be either shopping for, preparing, or freezing meals ( that I can’t eat any damned way ) to take with us on vacation. That doesn’t even count the cookies and candies everyone asked for ( again, can’t eat them ).
We rented a condo with a full kitchen, and just for shits and giggles, I thought I would do most of the cooking ahead of time so I’m not strapped to the oven the whole time. Don’t worry, I’ll have plenty to do. It has a washer and dryer as well. Basically I will spend the long weekend doing the same things I do at home…just with a better view.
The only thing that could make this worse would be if I buy a new scale only to find that the original one was right. Then not only will I be 3 lbs heavier, but I’ll be out $35.
I’m so damned mad I could spit! But then again, that would probably just make me thirsty, and then I would have to drink more water…and we all know how that goes straight to my thighs.
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Have you met with your doctor and a dietitian? Everyone’s body is different, and maybe a different type of diet would work better for you. I hear your frustration, you have been sticking so closely to your plan and not getting the results that you deserve. Don’t give up, it will get better!! Once you find the perfect plan for you, the weight will start coming off. Keep up the great work, it will get better!
OMG, I so feel your pain right now. I can’t imagine what I can write to help you feel a little bit better. All the hard work for a 3 pound gain. I know you’re working hard Erika but give it another week and then weigh-in again. Something may be off, hopefully it’s your scale but we’ll know better in a week. You’re stronger than that woman, you can do it!!!!
Oh honey!
Well maybe its the heat.. Is there a a lot of heat where you are? The heat often makes me feel bigger and the scale agrees..
You are strong for staying dedicated no matter what!!
Just keep it up darlin!!
LOL!! Ohmygosh!! I hadn’t read one of these blogs from you in a loooooong time!! Thank you!! You are such a creative writer Erika! My God you could make a killing as a stand-up comic.
I want to say I am sorry about the gain because I am, but your blog is too damn funny and it takes away from the real point, which is the weight-gain!!
I hope you have a nice vacation, even if you’re still going to be doing the same things at the Condo that you do at home. TRY to take some time to yourself my dear friend!!
I found that if I go to my sisters to weigh myself I’m lighter so try weighing yourself on someone else’s lol,but I suppose if you bought new ones it wouldn’t help,can’t you take them back and say they are broken as they are telling you the wrong weight.
Oh my goodness, you seriously cracked me up, right here.
I hope things get better for ya, hun!
Hi Erika, Did you weigh empty, like in the morning AFTER going to the bathroom and BEFORE eating or drinking ANYTHING? Just eating a carefully planed meal will make you gain 3 to 5 pounds or more in food and gastric fluids. Try again EMPTY and see if it makes a difference. I agree too that you are a great writer! Ever thought of being a comic or writer?